What Have I Been Up To

is-youawuss:

Alright, hello everyone! Rose here. I know a lot of my followers follow me because you enjoy my writing, and I am so eternally thankful for that. Wow. I cannot express how much it really really means to me that people actively read what I put so much time, effort, and heart into. Thank you.

You may have noticed that the speed I’m updating my fics at has slowed down a lot. Trust me, I think about it all the time. Don’t worry, I haven’t lost interest in writing, but I have a lot on my plate right now. A lot. Family problems, school, personal and emotional and mental problems: I’m not going to lie, at the moment, my life is a bit of a wreck, and so am I. 

I’m a writer that can’t just force myself to write. The passion has to be there, the motivation and feeling and mood, that’s why I’m so proud of some things I’ve written, because I put a piece of my own heart into it. I take what I am feeling and I pour that into the writing to give my characters’ story life. 

Right now, I think the phandom is a bit of a wreck, too. Pitted against each other, losing members, accusing Dan and Phil of baseless crimes. It’s a trainwreck I can’t look away from.

So, what am I trying to say? “Hiatus” is such a strong word and I don’t like using it, because I’ll still be on tumblr, and I won’t completely stop production of phanfiction. I just need you wonderful people to know that I’m not just being lazy, not just neglecting my followers. I’ve just realized it’s not a good thing that I’m falling way behind in school and my biggest anxiety is that I haven’t updated in a week, you know? I’ll admit, I can’t handle it.

So I’m still going to write as my heart leads me, and as school winds down, I’m going to train myself back onto a stricter schedule. I love you guys, I love Dan and Phil, I love the worlds I’ve created and I hate to disappoint anyone but I hope you all understand I have to take care of my own mental health. Thanks guys. I really, really love you so much.

~ Rose T.